The Committed

So lately I have been all about Delight’s Dating Personality Quiz. Far from the kinds of quizzes I used to take within the pages of teen magazines, the Delight quiz gets to the heart of who you are and how you function in—and out—of  relationships. There are six personality types: Independent, Romantic, Flirt, Rescuer, Cautious, and Committed.

I am the Committed. I took the quiz twice because I actually didn’t want to be the Committed, I wanted to be the Independent. I’ve always been proud of how independent and ambitious I am, so not getting that result was a let down at first, although it was a close runner-up, only 6% less than Committed. Yet the more I learned about the Committed through Delight’s For the Girl podcast, the more I realized how much I fit into that personality.

I know some may be skeptical of what this quiz is all about, because I know that I was. To be totally honest I was thinking “Really? A dating quiz? How old are we?” But I’ve honestly learned so much about myself and how I function in relatiosnhips through the podcasts. It has been so cool to learn about myself through this, finding out why I do or think certain things and being able to both know myself better and also pinpoint problems and patterns I’m falling into when it comes to dating and relationships.

So, since I’ve been learning all this cool stuff about myself and my “type,” I thought I could share an overview of who the Committed is and some things I’m learning and putting into practice!

To start, I’ll share the six tendencies of the Committed. Keep in mind that the Committed is the most popular “type,” so if you haven’t taken the quiz yet this might be you!

1. Quick to conform to significant other’s lifestyle and sacrifices wants, desires, and needs
2. Buries doubts and uncertainties, often ignores red flags
3. Reserved about love life, keeps things more private
4. Drawn to “sure thing” kind of guys, not looking for a fling, but a relationship that can last
5. Loves the idea of settling down and imagining the future
6. Not good at stating own needs in a relationship, nervous to express concerns because you just want to make it work

As I listened to this list I’m not going to lie my jaw dropped a little bit because I felt so called out! They stated everything that I know I do wrong in relationships in about 45 seconds and I was shocked by the accuracy. I’ve listened to the Commited podcast three times already (yes I love it that much) and I’ve been able to reflect on myself and my past relationships a lot.

As I did this reflecting, I realized that so many things I didn’t like about past relationships were my own fault. I didn’t express the things I wanted and needed. I conformed to other’s schedules and lifestyles. I let things slide that I shouldn’t have. But the thing is I didn’t even know that I was doing it. Like a true Committed, I just wanted the relationships to work. I put others before myself and made their happiness a priority. While I value that quality of service in myself, it’s also important that I don’t forget myself in the process.

Maddy Fowler, the interviewee on the podcast, talked about losing herself in relationships. She said that when it came to being single she had to ask herself “Who am I? What do I want to do? What do I care about?”

These questions have become so important to me. Who am I? What do I want to do? What do I care about? There aren’t one-word answers to these questions. The list of answers is long. While I do know a lot of them, I think that there are so many parts of myself that I have yet to uncover. I’ve been in a few serious relationships since high school and, with that, haven’t had the opportunity to get to know myself as well as I would have single, especially since my “type” has the tendency to do some conforming. So many things I am, want to do, and care about I haven’t even begun to discover.

Althought I am the Committed, looking forward to a future with someone who knows my heart and soul so well, I am excited about this season of singleness, this opportunity to spend time with myself. I am looking forward to growing in my faith and discovering who I am outside of relationships.

*You can take the quiz with the link in the first paragraph and the podcasts are on the Podcast app, titled For the Girl by Delight Ministries.