I always have to change up the way I spend time with God. I have tried doing Bible study plans, reading plans, and daily devotionals, but I cannot consistently do the same thing every day. After a while it begins to feel like just another to-do on my checklist, not an intentional time with God. It’s the same thing with workouts too. For a while I’ll be really into running, then yoga, barre and pilates, just walking for a while, and then circle back to something else.
For a while I was going on walks and runs and would use that time to really talk to Jesus. This was a time of anxiety for me in not knowing where the next steps of my life were leading. I wanted to know what the next season would hold. I felt pressure—mostly all built up from myself—to do great things and accomplish a lot. Whatever I was going to do with my life, I wanted it to be phenomenal.
There is a road near my house that is a slow incline up to a big steep hill. If I run from my house to the very end of that road and back, it is about two miles. I was running that route, reaching the big hill. I ran all the way up it and started to walk at the top of the hill. During this I was talking to God about this need for accomplishment I felt in myself. I began thinking about the end of the road—so close I could almost see it. Then I heard God’s voice in my head. Turn around. I was so close, why couldn’t I just reach the end and then go back? Get in the full run? Again, turn around. I reached a point in the sidewalk where it curved around a big tree. I stopped halfway through the curve, looking at the end of the road in the distance, and turned around.
As I walked back, it became clear to me what God was trying to show me. My idea of living life for God is this big race to get to the next big thing He wants me to do—once I’m on a path I want to get to, it ends in anticipation for the next stretch. But that is not at all what God wants for me. He doesn’t want me to chase these big dreams to no end, always getting bored and waiting impatiently for the next thing; a never-ending cycle of waiting on tomorrow. The path He has for me is not about the distance I go or the goal I’m working towards, it is about being in relationship with Him.
It didn’t matter that I did or didn’t go the whole two miles, what mattered is that I am spending intentional time with Him. I could never make it to all these goals I’m running after, but as long as I’m walking with Him nothing is wasted.
“He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” Micah 6:8